Penny Black’s Social Diary: British Insurance Awards special

Insurance’s answer to Glastonbury

To tie-in with the festival theme at this year’s British Insurance Awards, Insurance Post challenged shortlisted firms to create their own dream festival posters.

The results suggest there may be a lucrative second career awaiting the insurance sector in music promotion.

Leading the charge was Keoghs Fest 2026, which featured acts drawn from each of the locations represented across Davies’ legal arm. 

While most festival organisers struggle to co-ordinate artists from different countries, Davies legal business appears to have solved international touring logistics.

McLarens opted for a more ambitious approach with After Dark, promising “late-night energy, unexpected moments, and a curated line-up of performers and singers cutting through the noise, bringing attitude, edge, and just the right amount of chaos”.

With Madonna, Beyoncé and Bruno Mars topping the bill, it may also have required financial backing bigger than some insurers’ claims reserves. Penny particularly enjoyed the festival’s reassuring promise of “No losses, just encores”.

Meanwhile, the Insurance Fraud Investigators Group demonstrated not even mortality can stand in the way of a good pun. 

Festival-goers were treated to a resurrected Prince performing “Purple Claim”, while T-Rex returned to deliver “20th Century Claims”. 

FraudOps also embraced the spirit of fantasy festivals, promising an evening of “insurance, claims, fraud and absolutely no liability”. 

The headline act was Brittany Tears with a rendition of “Oops I’ve Flagged It Again”.

Innovation Group’s The Big Excess festival offered perhaps the most realistic insurance-themed set list. 

Highlights included Rihanna’s “Shut Up and Drive (Carefully)” and Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never, Ever, Getting Back the Excess” – a song likely to resonate with claims handlers everywhere.

Not to be outdone, Allianz produced an entire roster of insurance-inspired superstars. 

Penny’s favourites included Allianz Morrissette, The ProCLAIMers, Justin Biba and Earth, Wind, Fire & Theft.

After reviewing the entries, Penny feels there is a thriving future in novelty insurance/tribute band acts.

Penny’s Lunch Box

I know what you’re thinking: wasn’t the food at this year’s British Insurance Awards spectacular?

For those whose recollections of the evening became increasingly hazy as the awards progressed, Penny is happy to provide a refresher.

Proceedings began with whipped burrata, potato gnocchi, pea and mint, toasted cashew and lemon verbena. 

The carnivorous contingent enjoyed lamb rump served with smoked carrot, lamb croquette, baby Hasselback potatoes, charred gem, peas, onion and rosemary jus.

Vegetarians were treated to a salt-baked celeriac steak, while dessert arrived in the form of red fruit mille-feuille with pistachio financier, ruby chocolate and orange blossom cream.

In short, considerably more sophisticated than the average festival burger van. Five stars.

Out of Context

“They said insurance was boring, but fuck me, you’re sexy.”

With that, Alan Carr, fresh from his Celebrity Traitors victory and presiding over the British Insurance Awards, bounded into the audience at the Royal Albert Hall in search of a glass of wine.

His verdict on the BIAs? “It’s like being at Taylor Swift’s wedding but a little bit more insurance-y.”

There was disappointment, too. “Someone told me Churchill the dog wasn’t here. So whose shit was it that I stood in on the way here?”

And inevitably, a little self-deprecation: “My bald patch gets bigger by the day. I’ve got a very good offer from Hiscox for the advertising space.”